Cliques: Can new students click?

Jen Samantha Rasay
October 3, 2009
Filed under Editorials

Now that I’m a sophomore and this is my second year in ‘Iolani, I look back on my very first day of freshman year and wonder how I survived it all.

I thought that being the new kid was scary. I thought that being the new kid in high school was scarier. I thought that the scariest yet was being the new kid in ‘Iolani School.

This year, approximately 120 new students braved the waters of ‘Iolani Upper School. They were easy enough to recognize during the first few weeks—dazedly walking around in the mornings and lunchtime, barely speaking in class, looking as if they were in a hurry to get somewhere in order to avoid stares and unnecessary interaction with others. These were the students who possessed all the trademarks of a “New Student.” At the same time, the trademarks of the “True ‘Iolanian”—a warm smile, a friendly invite to lunch or a simple answer to a question—were also evident during the first few weeks of school.

The students’ spirit of aloha and contributions to the welcoming atmosphere of ‘Iolani are two main reasons why almost all admitted students choose our school above others. Yes, we have excellent college-preparatory courses, a great Athletics program, and a wonderful Performing Arts Department. But the ‘Iolani students take it all the way home and follow through by making it easier for new students to adjust. This is the general happy picture that teachers, faculty, and adults see on the surface. Dig deeper, down to where the students are, and you’ll see a different story.

Although this is ‘Iolani School, we’re still talking about a typical teenage-dom here. Not every student is bursting with rainbows and butterflies. Different types of media—whether it be books, movies, or TV shows—almost always portray our generation’s high school social scene as a brutal and harsh jungle where Social Darwinism takes on a whole new meaning.

It’s a good thing ‘Iolani doesn’t exactly fit that description. Although we’re not a very clique-y school, there are several clearly defined social groups in each grade. These groups peacefully co-exist; they acknowledge each other’s presence once in a while due to the fact that many students belong to multiple groups. The occasional branching out of several individuals with others from different groups is also not uncommon.

When the entrance of new students pose a possibility of changing this status quo of groupings, old students aren’t always as welcoming as the typical “True ‘Iolanian” that I described earlier. Having been standing from the “New Student Side” of the matter last year, my view from the “Old ‘Iolani Students Side” this year may be different from others who have been attending ‘Iolani for a longer time than I have. Although old ‘Iolani students are generally very kind to new students, I noticed a certain selectivity. As I mentioned before, there is no doubt that old ‘Iolani students are very friendly towards new students in general. But old ‘Iolani students also tend to be friendlier towards particular new students in their grade. Is this wrong? Yes and no.

Yes, it is wrong because ‘Iolani students should know better not to make judgments about a person whom they have not had the opportunity of meeting. Most of the time, new students don’t even get a chance to show their true colors in order to find their own group of friends; the decision is basically made for them by the current students. However, this differentiation among the new students makes it easier for existing groups to befriend new students most similar to the old students belonging in the group. It creates less tension (especially when multiple groups approach the same new student simultaneously) and holds less of a threat to the status quo.

In the interest of all students, current and new, all must meet each other halfway, right in the middle. Both sides must approach each other at the same time. New students should not be afraid to express themselves to meet old students. In turn, old ‘Iolani students should appreciate all new students and should not make hasty judgments about any. Social groups should not close their doors to new members; it’s never too late to make a brand new friend. And we old-timers all know that friends are an essential in ‘Iolani. Friends keep you sane amidst all the activities and the stress.

Now, I look back on my very first day of freshman year and no longer wonder how I survived it all. I still think being the new kid is scary, and being the new kid in high school is even scarier. But being the new kid in ‘Iolani School? It’s not so bad; you just have to find your own niche.